It’s hard to put today into words.
Looking at four school buildings that could easily be one that I’m currently
working at, reading that an estimated 14,000-20,000 people were killed there
only 40 some years ago is a lot to take in. Humbling was the word Amber used,
and humbling it was. Room after room at the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum is
filled with the faces of those who were killed at the genocide that began in 1975
and lasted until 1979. I couldn’t help but look at the faces on the wall and
think of my kids. This too, was originally a school, and so many of the faces
looked like they could be related to my own students. They could have actually
been related to my students. This realization made me sick and made the whole
experience a little more real. With each flight of stairs to the next level of
the three-story building I kept thinking that this could’ve looked like CAS
built 35 years earlier. What used to be a normal school had been turned into a
torture center.
On the way out, we almost passed by
what we thought was another pile of books being sold to visitors. It was
another pile of books, but behind the table sat one of only seven survivors of
the genocide. He looked like he couldn’t be older than maybe 60, and that’s
when it really hit me how recent this genocide was. This man’s story was posted
on posters next to him and books covered the table with his name printed on
them. I couldn’t help but wonder how difficult it was for this man to be back
at the place he had been tortured at or if he was honored to be back, letting
the public know what he went through.
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| This is a sign found in one of the rooms with the stories and trials of the Khmer Rouge leaders. This sign says: "Memory and Justice" (and the Khmer translation below) |
In addition to all the faces of
those who were killed, we also saw pictures of the leaders and read their
stories. They had all been arrested and had been put on trial in Cambodia. We were shocked to read that one of the leaders,
a female, was only arrested a couple years ago. It had taken that long to
arrest someone who was involved in all these killings!
The museum
is at the exact location of where thousands of people were tortured and killed.
It is on the side of the road, surrounded by houses and shops just like the
rest of Phnom Penh. People told us before we went that we should be glad that
they had cleaned the blood splatters up off the floor, but that didn’t change
the feeling. Wooden and brick “cells,” left how they originally were, lined the
multiple rooms that used to hold classes. There was a strong smell and the heat
was intense, and as we walked up and down the stairs, in and out of rooms, what
looked like blood still stained the floor and I couldn’t help but think of the
many lives that had been lost quite possibly where I was standing.
Last week,
someone told us something that another teacher had said. “I was lucky during
the genocide. I only lost my brother, father, and uncle,” is what they had
said. As far as I’m concerned, that is far from lucky. That statement, however,
shows how recent the genocide was and how much it has affected all the people I
live and work with everyday. The majority of the teachers, and the students,
that are at CAS have lived in Cambodia, most in Phnom Penh, for their entire
life. This genocide has affected every single one of them. I now have a
different kind of understanding and respect for the Khmer people that I didn’t
have before today. Pol Pot and the other Khmer Rouge leaders have drastically
impacted and changed their lives.
As an 8th
grader years ago, I had the opportunity to go to Washington D.C. with a large
group of students from my school. While we were there, we went to the Holocaust
Museum. I loved learning about World War II and I remember being fascinated
with the museum before I went. I remember how eye opening and humbling that
experience was so many years ago. The Holocaust and WWII was something that the
United States, my home, was incredibly impacted by. Today, I had a very similar
feeling to the one I had all those years ago. Though it’s not the United States,
Cambodia already holds an enormous place in my heart and seeing what they have
been through was really overwhelming.
I hurt for
the people I walk by or interact with everyday who have been impacted by this
tragedy. I have a new found respect for these people, for they are trying to
move on and are trying to rebuild Phnom Penh and Cambodia. I don’t know how you
could live here and feel any differently.
The past
weeks, I’ve been trying to understand the people and the culture. Today I
realized that I never will completely understand the people here, for a number
of reasons. One of those reasons, however, is the fact that I will never
understand the impact this genocide has had on the Khmer people. The lesson
I’ve learned for today? Try to understand where people are coming from, and
that which you cannot understand, you have to accept, because there might be a
lot more to the story that you can’t even begin to understand.
-Alex
-Alex
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| This is a sign in another room that has the stories and trials of the Khmer Rouge leaders. This sign under genocide (with the Khmer translation on the right) says: "Who are the Senior Khmer Rouge leaders to be judged? The importance of case 002." |
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