Progressive Thoughts

I bought a recycled bike last weekend. As I rode my “new” bike to work Monday morning…I was struck with maybe one of the most obvious realizations I have come up with since returning from the mission field. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.

The distance I ride to work is about the same distance that I would ride my bike to Cambodia Adventist School to teach every morning in Phnom Penh. In Cambodia, riding my bike to work each morning was a feat. Alex and I would dodge potholes, make our way through a four way “intersection” that was more like an eight way, literally hundreds of motos, honking vehicles, and pedestrians. There were times that we would mentally high five each other after making it a block without being run over.  Here, it is easy. It is quiet. On a busy day I pass MAYBE three cars. There might be a crack or two in the sidewalk on the way, but nothing more. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.

When I would arrive to my job in Phnom Penh, by 6:45am I’d be dripping sweat from the heat and my hair could be considered an afro from the humidity and I would always be greeted by a few of my students. “Good morning, Tee-Cha” they would shyly say. When I arrive to my job in College Place, my hands are numb from the morning fog and I cannot feel my ears and I continuously fear they have been frost bitten. Here, I am greeted by my co-workers whom are very pleasant too, but lacking a Khmer accent and tan skin. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.

Transitions are not my thing, which could be considered normal. It has been….strange…transitioning back into what used to be so normal to me. I feel like my hearts has been pulled like salt-water taffy, literally across the world and back again. I am very happy to be home don’t get me wrong, but as to be expected I am missing my students sweet laughter and all of their silly jokes more than anything. I miss having my hands go numb from playing patty-cake each break period. I miss being serenaded with PSY’s Gangnam Style each hour. I miss eating lunch with a bunch of little boys who didn’t know how to speak to me in English, but would always share their rice with me nonetheless. Hearing from my students is still always the highlight of my week now that I am back in Walla Walla.

Whenever I have the chance to talk to other returned SM’s, I always ask the same question. “When does this stretched out feeling go away?” Not to my liking, they always reply with the same answer. “It never really does, Amber.” ……I always bite my tongue and continue on with my day, but all I want to say is “THAT’S HORRIBLE NEWS!! WHY NOT?!” I guess I have realized for quite some time that I am obviously not in Cambodia anymore, but I suppose I have not wanted to admit it to myself until my bike ride to work this last Monday.

I’ve wanted to write one last blog since I have been home…but at the same time I haven’t wanted to “wrap things up” because I will never want to “wrap up” my Cambodian experience. Instead of “moving on” with my life..I rather want to progress.

Looking back, remembering the negative but focusing on the positive, I am thrilled I had the opportunity to spend six months of my life with the most wonderful, hyperactive, sweet, sweet, little children. I knew they brought joy into my life while I was abroad, but it is even more apparent to me now how much those little souls of theirs affected my own. They gave me tenacity, friendship, and purpose. I will forever be grateful of the joy they placed inside of me. I miss them every second, and am so happy that I have the hope to see them once again.

I may not be in Cambodia anymore, but Cambodia will always have a special place in my heart. 

-Amber

One Final Note

It’s incredible to think about to where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and how much I have changed in the last 8 months. 8 weeks ago today, I touched down on American soil, and began the transition from missionary life, to life back in America. I wanted to write one last blog before wrapping this up for good.

            In the last 8 weeks, I sat around Coeur d’ Alene for a while, made a trip down to Santa Barbara to visit my cousin and Loma Linda to visit the nursing school and see some friends, and did a short trip to Walla Walla and Canada. Now I’m back at WWU as a full time student for the last quarter of my sophomore year. Going to class last Monday as a student, for the first time in 9 months, felt so abnormal. The few days since have become more normal and my roommate this quarter is also a returned SM, so we’re going through the transition together.

            Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Cambodia, my kids, and the school. My dorm room is COVERED in pictures from my 6 months overseas and I find myself sitting at my desk just staring at them. The impact that the country and people of Cambodia made on my life is truly remarkable. I know God put me there for reasons far bigger than I can ever comprehend. Though I hope I made an impact there, the mark Cambodia has left on me will never fade.

            I want to thank everyone, once again, who sponsored us, and for the countless thoughts and prayers, letters and packages Amber and I received while we were overseas. We are truly blessed to have so many people that support and care for us, and without you, we could never have done it.

            The 6 months I spent in Phnom Penh, Cambodia taught me more than any other 6 months have ever taught me. The people there that I love and miss so dearly will always hold an irreplaceable spot in my heart. The world has shown and taught me so many new things this year, now it’s time to see what else it has to offer.

Thank you all, again. God bless!

-Alex