I bought a recycled bike last weekend. As I rode my “new”
bike to work Monday morning…I was struck with maybe one of the most obvious
realizations I have come up with since returning from the mission field. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.
The distance I ride to work is about the same distance that I would ride my bike to Cambodia Adventist School to teach every morning in Phnom Penh. In Cambodia, riding my bike to work each morning was a feat. Alex and I would dodge potholes, make our way through a four way “intersection” that was more like an eight way, literally hundreds of motos, honking vehicles, and pedestrians. There were times that we would mentally high five each other after making it a block without being run over. Here, it is easy. It is quiet. On a busy day I pass MAYBE three cars. There might be a crack or two in the sidewalk on the way, but nothing more. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.
When I would arrive to my job in Phnom Penh, by 6:45am I’d be dripping sweat from the heat and my hair could be considered an afro from the humidity and I would always be greeted by a few of my students. “Good morning, Tee-Cha” they would shyly say. When I arrive to my job in College Place, my hands are numb from the morning fog and I cannot feel my ears and I continuously fear they have been frost bitten. Here, I am greeted by my co-workers whom are very pleasant too, but lacking a Khmer accent and tan skin. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.
Transitions are not my thing, which could be considered normal. It has been….strange…transitioning back into what used to be so normal to me. I feel like my hearts has been pulled like salt-water taffy, literally across the world and back again. I am very happy to be home don’t get me wrong, but as to be expected I am missing my students sweet laughter and all of their silly jokes more than anything. I miss having my hands go numb from playing patty-cake each break period. I miss being serenaded with PSY’s Gangnam Style each hour. I miss eating lunch with a bunch of little boys who didn’t know how to speak to me in English, but would always share their rice with me nonetheless. Hearing from my students is still always the highlight of my week now that I am back in Walla Walla.
The distance I ride to work is about the same distance that I would ride my bike to Cambodia Adventist School to teach every morning in Phnom Penh. In Cambodia, riding my bike to work each morning was a feat. Alex and I would dodge potholes, make our way through a four way “intersection” that was more like an eight way, literally hundreds of motos, honking vehicles, and pedestrians. There were times that we would mentally high five each other after making it a block without being run over. Here, it is easy. It is quiet. On a busy day I pass MAYBE three cars. There might be a crack or two in the sidewalk on the way, but nothing more. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.
When I would arrive to my job in Phnom Penh, by 6:45am I’d be dripping sweat from the heat and my hair could be considered an afro from the humidity and I would always be greeted by a few of my students. “Good morning, Tee-Cha” they would shyly say. When I arrive to my job in College Place, my hands are numb from the morning fog and I cannot feel my ears and I continuously fear they have been frost bitten. Here, I am greeted by my co-workers whom are very pleasant too, but lacking a Khmer accent and tan skin. I’m not in Cambodia anymore.
Transitions are not my thing, which could be considered normal. It has been….strange…transitioning back into what used to be so normal to me. I feel like my hearts has been pulled like salt-water taffy, literally across the world and back again. I am very happy to be home don’t get me wrong, but as to be expected I am missing my students sweet laughter and all of their silly jokes more than anything. I miss having my hands go numb from playing patty-cake each break period. I miss being serenaded with PSY’s Gangnam Style each hour. I miss eating lunch with a bunch of little boys who didn’t know how to speak to me in English, but would always share their rice with me nonetheless. Hearing from my students is still always the highlight of my week now that I am back in Walla Walla.
Whenever I have the chance to talk to other returned SM’s, I
always ask the same question. “When does this stretched out feeling go away?”
Not to my liking, they always reply with the same answer. “It never really
does, Amber.” ……I always bite my tongue and continue on with my day, but all I want
to say is “THAT’S HORRIBLE NEWS!! WHY NOT?!” I guess I have realized for quite
some time that I am obviously not in Cambodia anymore, but I suppose I have not
wanted to admit it to myself until my bike ride to work this last Monday.
I’ve wanted to write one last blog since I have been home…but at the same time I haven’t wanted to “wrap things up” because I will never want to “wrap up” my Cambodian experience. Instead of “moving on” with my life..I rather want to progress.
Looking back, remembering the negative but focusing on the positive, I am thrilled I had the opportunity to spend six months of my life with the most wonderful, hyperactive, sweet, sweet, little children. I knew they brought joy into my life while I was abroad, but it is even more apparent to me now how much those little souls of theirs affected my own. They gave me tenacity, friendship, and purpose. I will forever be grateful of the joy they placed inside of me. I miss them every second, and am so happy that I have the hope to see them once again.
I may not be in Cambodia anymore, but Cambodia will always have a special place in my heart.
-Amber
I’ve wanted to write one last blog since I have been home…but at the same time I haven’t wanted to “wrap things up” because I will never want to “wrap up” my Cambodian experience. Instead of “moving on” with my life..I rather want to progress.
Looking back, remembering the negative but focusing on the positive, I am thrilled I had the opportunity to spend six months of my life with the most wonderful, hyperactive, sweet, sweet, little children. I knew they brought joy into my life while I was abroad, but it is even more apparent to me now how much those little souls of theirs affected my own. They gave me tenacity, friendship, and purpose. I will forever be grateful of the joy they placed inside of me. I miss them every second, and am so happy that I have the hope to see them once again.
I may not be in Cambodia anymore, but Cambodia will always have a special place in my heart.
-Amber
So much truth, truth, truth. You're right. You'll always feel stretched to some degree. It's uncomfortable, but it's important, because Cambodia will always remind you of a part of you (and a part of the world)
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I always take everything you have to say to heart, I know you've been right in my shoes too. Thanks so much for your support, Heather. You've been GREAT.
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